Parenting By Example

When living together under one roof, I often remember my mama affirming "When you are a mother, you have to be the very best person you can be." She basically wanted us impart that mothers must behave as if they are on display at all times, and in a manner that they wish their kids will follow. And since motherhood commenced for me on October 10, 2008, and I see how accurate it is that the twins watch our every move, I can attest to my Mom's counsel so many years ago. I now must drive my very safest, not only because I am carrying even more precious cargo, but also because they are observing my driving skills (even many years before getting their driving permits). I must be honest at all times, no matter the situation. I must say "please" and "thank you," and "excuse me" when appropriate. I must follow all of the rules I set for them and follow through with my decisions. I must be fair and equal with my attention and allowances for each child. And most importantly, I must parent by example. If I tell the kids to do one thing, but then do another, they will likely do the second thing, as they learn from what I do rather than what I tell them to do.

One situation that occurred about two years reminded me of how powerful my Mom's example was to me (and still is). One day while shopping at the University Village, I found a large diamond ring on the ground in the parking lot, tracked down the security officer, and turned it in to him. I could see the temptation that many people would have to hold on to the ring. What's the saying... finders, keepers? But to me, that wouldn't have been honest or right. And despite the fact that Addy and Asher were only about five months old, and probably won't remember the incident, I felt proud to do the right thing, as an example for them, and because it felt like the only ethical choice. Reflecting upon my decision, I was reminded of my mother's lifelong example and guidance, and how fundamental she was in my conclusion that returning the wedding band was my only option.

In addition to the behavior that my mama cultivated in me, I hope that I can teach Addy and Asher how to stand up to diversity and be true to themselves and their morals, even when it is not easy or the cool thing to do. There aren't many people who have the courage to do that, especially when subject to peer pressure. It takes a strong child, assured in themselves and their beliefs to do this, and I am trying with every fiber of my body to raise confident, intelligent individuals from the get-go.

And while many of these values and lessons are for another time, when Addy and Asher have grown up a bit, it is evident that some instructions can be learned early on. There are obvious expectations such as no hitting, biting, or taking each other's toys. I can assure you that I have been faithful to all of those rules since day one.

Furthermore, I believe that Addy and Asher are old enough for me to expect that they'll remember to say "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me." And, I don't think it is unreasonable for them to remember to not throw books or toys (even if they're just trying to clean up). They should be attempt to cover their mouths when they cough, answer questions when a grown-up inquires, and keep their food on their trays during meals. I am proud to say that since they were about eighteen months old they've been mostly proficient in the aforementioned skills.

I am certainly not perfect at this parenting stuff, and I don't claim to be an expert by any means. But, I have been nurtured by one of the most amazing mothers in the world (in my humble opinion) and hope to emulate her outstanding example for my children. I am sure that I will make many errors in my parenting decisions as the years go by- hopefully not too many big ones. So far, I think Adeline and Asher are no worse for the wear, in spite of my occasional tossing of a toy into the bin (while cleaning up) or talking before I've finished swallowing. I pray that God grants me the patience and fortitude to continue to parent in the manner my mother has for me. I am striving to perform at my best.

With temps into the low sixties this week, we spent a lot of our free time at the playground or taking walks around the neighborhood. Yesterday, we rode bikes (hence the helmets):

Character

Char-ac-ter

–noun
1. the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
2. one such feature or trait; characteristic.
3. moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.
4. qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity: It takes character to face up to a bully.
5. reputation: a stain on one's character.
6. an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.
7. a person, especially with reference to behavior or personality: a suspicious character.
8. a person represented in a drama, story, etc.
9. a part or role, as in a play or film.
10. a symbol as used in a writing system, as a letter of the alphabet.
11. the symbols of a writing system collectively.
12. genetics: any trait, function, structure, or substance of an organism resulting from the effect of one or more genes as modified by the environment.
13. computers: a. any symbol, as a number, letter, punctuation mark, etc., that represents data and that, when encoded, is usable by a machine. b. one of a set of basic symbols that singly or in a series of two or more represents data and, when encoded, is usable in a computer.

Throughout their twenty nine months on this great earth, I am certain that I have uttered numerous times that our children are characters. And as toddlers with distinct identities and the beginnings of good morals and values, it is evident as they grow older that Adeline and Asher illustrate many of the definitions of the word character, as defined by Mr. Webster.

All things considered, I would attest that Addy and Asher are, indeed, characters. They display vivacious, unique and sometimes odd personalities, which cause us to sometimes wonder "who did they learn that from?" They are constantly inciting laughter from us with their animated gestures and hilarious proclamations. They love to break out their dance moves or burst into song when the feeling strikes them, and will squeal or giggle or quack like a duck in mixed company. Like most toddlers, they do and say what they want when they want, with no reservations, revealing their true characters. And to be completely honest, I think the world would be a lot less stressed if we could all behave like toddlers at times. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all just said it like it was- being completely honest at all times? In any case, after making macaroni jewelry last week, I asked the kids to "strike a pose" so I could take a picture of their masterpieces. And, as if they had choreographed it harmoniously, on the count of three, they simultaneously threw their hands up into the air and shouted, "ta da" revealing a little of their spirited character.



Addy and Asher also have a lot of character in terms of their eccentric taste in food and clothes. The babies eat more atypical toddler foods than any other two year olds I've ever known. From curry, to chili, seaweed, salads, tofu, fried shrimp heads, and other seafood, they make us shake our heads in disbelief. Of course, Nick and I are thrilled that they eat so well and that they are willing to try almost anything. Yet we have to admit that we were slightly perplexed the other night when both kids passed up onion rings and grilled chicken for Brussels sprouts, sardines, and sauteed mushrooms. In addition to their grown-up palates, Addy and Asher show their character when they are given the freedom to choose their clothes and dress themselves. They love to wear rain boots, snow hats, swimsuits, and mittens, despite the weather outside. The more colors and patterns they can put together in one outfit the better. Tights are a great addition to any outfit, according to Addy, and Asher dons his Santa hat or construction hat multiple times a week. This week, I let them out of the house clad in their jammie pants, rain boots, backpacks and snow hats (which had been taken off by photo time):





The dynamic duo also like to masquerade as different characters, putting on disguises like glasses and hats or sticking Mr Potato Head pieces on their faces (Asher likes to wear the glasses designated for Mr. Potato Head, while Addy manages to slip on Mrs Potato Head's earrings). And whether they dress up in costume or use food as a method to disguise their visages, it's all the same to them. For dessert this week, I made the kids a chocolate brownie banana milk smoothie. They LOVED it, and ended up with pretty decent mustache disguises.



Despite the fact that our little peas are not quite two and a half, they already exhibit evidence of good moral character. They are both very polite, and seem to genuinely have concern for other people and animals. Ever since they were very little, they've delighted in helping me take care of one another. They often try to help change diapers or assist in putting on jackets or shoes, and they NEED to know where the other twin is at all times and what he/she is doing. Furthermore, if one sibling gets an owie, the other is certain to want to "kiss it better." From the time they were very young and I showed them how to use my stethoscope to listen to their hearts (when Addy had a murmur), they have used it themselves- they like to keep tabs on one another's tickers.



Addy and Asher are collections of traits and features that make up who they are as individuals. They are honorable little people with character that makes me proud. And while sometimes I admit that their "character" verges on the edge of outrageous and frustrating, there isn't one thing I'd ever want to change about our beautiful children and the qualities and peculiarities that they are defined by. I wish that they hold on to the characteristics that makes them unique, and that they stand by those qualities always, remaining strong in their values and true to their characters invariably.

Our new normal

After a week back on my feet again, life is back to our usual cadence. Or rather, I should say we are thoroughly engaged in our new normal. And it is comforting and exciting to see that as soon as I get my feet back, life is in high gear and we're running around town from one activity to the next... just as I like it! We started the week off with a promised visit to The Little Gym. In heaven, the kids ran around the joint, somersaulting, swinging, jumping, climbing, etc. They're all signed up for the remainder of this session, and both kids will be thrilled to have the opportunity to hone their gymnastics skills each week. Addy showed off her freakishly strong muscles and impressed teacher Steve with her ability to swing on the parallel bars and bring her legs up to touch her hands. Asher showed prowess during the running, climbing, and jumping activity, prompting Steve to name him "Action Asher." With four thumbs up, The Little Gym was definitely a hit with both kids, especially the bubbles at the end of class (which they had remembered from the last time we visited in January).

With the kids' enthusiasm for bubbles blown out of a bottle, it is no doubt that they are big fans of bubbles in the bath tub too. Until this week, we hadn't ever given them a bubble bath strictly to play in the bubbles. To them, the bubble bath on Wednesday evening was about the best thing ever- a bath where they didn't have to wash their hair or scrub their feet. They could simply play in the multitude of bubbles and warm water. Given the high level of squeals and laughter, I HAD to take some video.



As if the bubble bath, The Little Gym, the library, and a great play date weren't exciting enough this week, we had a big weekend planned with many activities that we knew they'd flip over, especially Asher. Saturday morning we started out with a neighborhood play date at the bottom of the hill. Both kids loved meeting some new friends, and I enjoyed getting to chat with some of the other moms in the neighborhood. And although it was somewhat difficult to tear them away from their playmates, we had plans to visit a place Asher and Addy had only read about in books.

Last weekend when we were visiting the village, we "bumped" into a fireman at Starbucks getting his morning Joe. Asher was completely in awe- staring without blinking his eyes. He couldn't get many words out, but was able to tell firefighter Dockter his name and that he likes firetrucks. The fireman gave the kids stickers and mentioned an open house at the new fire station this weekend. All week we had been talking about it. Asher was particularly excited, although he was mostly eager to drive a firetruck. We arrived at the new station to a multitude of Seattle area residents. And after standing in many lines and dodging the other visitors, were able to tour the new station, sample donuts and juice, and explore an actual firetruck. Asher even got to sit in the driver's seat and turn the wheel. His dream was fulfilled.





At the end of this busy week I am slightly exhausted, but glad to be. I definitely am not an idle person, and function best when I'm juggling ten different things at once. Life's too short to sit around! Thank goodness the kids seem to enjoy getting out and experiencing a lot too. Our life may not be normal for everyone, but it's familiar to us, and I think we're adjusting to our new normal (post 2011 difficulties) and enjoying every minute.

A new forecast

Clouds, which have predominated my mental forecast, as well as the climate, as of late, lifted this week after many, many weeks. Temperatures outside were higher compared to a week ago when snow was falling, and while Asher still enjoys donning his Santa hat into March, the weather was almost spring-like by the end of the week, if not physically, mentally.

Wearing his Santa hat and toting backpacks, the kids are ready for preschool (next fall):


Dawn broke on Monday morning, and the forecast was hazy. Still uncertain if my leg injury was a stress fracture or insertional tendinitis, I continued to utilize my crutches and hobble around the house. As has been the case since the beginning of January, I was still not feeling quite like myself, and still irritated by not being able to run or enjoy the active life I thrive on and am accustomed to.

However, Tuesday the clouds started to thin out a bit. One of my dearest friends, Andra, and her son, Liam, stopped by for a play date. The kids get along very well, so Andra and I got a chance to get catch up and revel in the amusing interactions of our children. Aside from one pushing incident (when Asher felt compelled to push his friend in retribution for Liam trying to steal Asher's pliers), the play date was great- fun had by all. There really is nothing like a good friend to lift your spirits (clouds) and bring a smile to your face.

With their playmate, Liam, (nine months younger than Addy and Asher):


Thursday morning, we experienced intermittent rain showers in between periods where the clouds cleared up and the sun shined prominently in the blue sky. That afternoon, I went to my appointment with the orthopedist, dodging raindrops on my way in. After his assessment, he felt confident that I have been experiencing insertional tendinitis, rather than a stress fracture! It was at that moment that the sun emerged as bright as ever. I walked into the doctor's office stepping very lightly on my potentially fractured leg, not because it hurt, but because I was worried about putting pressure on a potentially broken bone. And yet, after the final diagnosis was determined, I nearly danced out the of the office and back to the car. It was all could do to contain my excitement and not skip into the sunshine. And while I am not advised to start running for two weeks, I have been given the clearance to "power walk" or otherwise "stress" my leg. Upon arriving home, I was so excited to move, I took the kids for a walk around the neighborhood, and then logged a couple miles on the treadmill that evening. It felt awesome; not the same as running, but still so great to move! In a matter of minutes at the doctor's office, my mood instantly lifted, along with the clouds, and this minor depression I have felt since the mention of a stress fracture, has vanished. What is even more exciting, is that the doc says I can potentially run another half marathon or marathon if I want to (after a long, slow, progression of miles and training)! One step at a time (literally)...

By Saturday, the sun was shining brilliantly, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Pea was off work, I was free of my crutches, and we could enjoy our weekend as a family. After a mostly non-productive trip to IKEA in the morning, we enjoyed a lovely walk to the fruit market in the afternoon post naptime. Despite the temperatures lingering in the low forties, I couldn't NOT take advantage of my new freedom and the sunshine. I felt compelled to get outdoors- the kids love to be outside, and so do I. The fruit market opened up again after the winter break, and I was anxious to get there and sample this spring's produce. The two mile plus walk was fantastic, and the best part about it was that my leg held up just fine- no pain at all! I am a new woman!

Bundled up and with snacks, Addy and Asher love walks in the BOB stroller:


As illustrated by the sense that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I can say that due to the events of last week, my mental forecast has improved greatly. The clouds have lifted, and I can see the sunshine again! I am definitely aware that there are some precautions I must take to keep my leg healthy and prevent another injury, but I am thrilled beyond belief to know that I do not have a stress fracture! With a new spring in my step (literally) I am excited for this next week. As I promised Asher, "when Mama's leg gets better we'll go back to the Little Gym," so with no hesitation, we're returning tomorrow. I hope Asher sleeps tonight; he's darn excited. And, if the weather holds and the sun comes out this week, I plan to take some energizing walks and enjoy the elements as much as we can. After all, there always the possibility that the forecast could get cloudy once again.